Thursday, December 3, 2009

Mythical Blind Love!

Care, Pain, Smile, Sadness,Understanding,Warmness,Faithfulness, Depression, Happiness, Feelings, Stepping on self dignity, Slefless...etc. Things leads to one thing! leads to Mythical Blind Love!

Eeasy four letters but very difficult thing and deeds to have,do and feel it truely..

With Ex (Amy) and other girls i havnt felt most of them truely!

But with Heroine i feel most of them!

when i was a lil kid i remember my dad said this to my youngest uncle, " You got help Yourself and explore yourself, cuz no one else going to do it for you!"

i never understood wat dad meant!! bt it printed in my memory, just now and abt after 8 years from the time i heard it, i knew wat dad meant!

it doesnt mean that i got to live myself alone cuz ppl wont help me if i needed help, bt it means i shud depend on myself always and hear from ppl and learn from my experiences!!

I "helped" myself and "explored" myself too, I helped myself in getting over Amy (ex), and explored she wasnt the right girl for me, i will lie if i say all my times with Amy were bad, we had good times bt they were few!

i didnt want be the one to blame, that im the only one who wanted to broke up cuz her family is a very good family, i always loved her mom and dad, and sometimes i loved her mom even more then Amy back in old days..

she kept doin wrong things and i took the chance! we broke up!!

therez posts in my blog, i was talking abt Amy,i wont regret wat ive said before, but i feel like i was decieved!

for the passed 6 months i knew Heroine, she is just a perfect terrific girl, i liked her and then i loved her, we got alot in commons, for instance "our real names"!!!

Heroine supported me in my exams and in alot of things with no hestiation!, even wen we were friends and i was stil with Amy(not breaking up yet)!!

Heroine taught me wat real love is! She is a great girl..

I feel sorry for myself cuz i havnt met her long time ago!

so she be my first and last love, but she will be my last love and my last breathe, bt Heroine is the only girl that made me stop smoking!

none of the girls i met before cud stopped me smoking! Only Heroine did!!

even she told me to stop smoking wen we were friends only! and i stopped and i smoked once and she raised the hell on me!
that was at 25 Sept 09, and today i lied to her, i sent her SMS and told her im sorry i smoked jst a half of cigarete!! all she said to me is "Dont talk to me again..", i kept trying and telling her come one it was jst half cigarete and i needed it! but she never answered! and i tried to call her alot and she never answered too!
she jst confirmed to me that inshalla my life with her will be 100% safe..
its the first time in my life i feel this with girl!
im so sorry babe for lieing this white lie, im realy sorry and i freaking love you so freaking much, and i'll never ever smoke as long u by my side, and im so sorry for being jerk with you sometimes, trust me it aint me who do that, its just my bad past and injuries!!

since that i never smoked and i dont think i'll smoke if Heroine stays with me..

I love you Heroine, I adore you and I almost worship you!

please god, keep my and her love forever, help me to marry her with ur blessings!!

I love you Heroine and i wish i can get on the top of Eiffel tower and scream in the biggest loudspeakers "I LOVE YOU HEROINE, I LOVE YOU TO DEATH, PLEASE MARRY ME!"