Thursday, September 17, 2009

If Your Life Similar to This Life, Please Comment!

I'll talk here abut my life in certain period, from 10th Aug. (the day of my Birthday) till 17 Sept, and i want you ppl to be the judge in is it a "normal life" or "sucks life"..

10th Aug, is my birthday day,which is means that its special day for myself and ppl who cares and loves me!! but it wasnt realy!!

by the chance this year my bithday happened in the same week day at 10th Aug 1987 which was Monday..

my family made cake for me and it was allright!, i recieved SMS's and calls from friends and best friends of mine, the 1st congratulate i recieved was from a dear friend of me,i'll call her in my posts Heroine..

and in the same time i didnt recieve anythin from my girlfriend Amy!!!, she said that she forgot!!!cuz she is busy!!! and even after that, she didnt give me even a simple gift or apologized in nice way..

but its alright cuz I LUV HER!!

anyways after few days, she called in the middle of the night and she said Sam am sorry and lets forget the past and start a new begining!!! i was SOOOOO damn HaPpY..

i thought things will be great like it used to be between us and i'll be happy!!! but i was totaly wrong!!

we were alright for few days but the coldness started again!!

At 1st Sept. my family left to Syria and then supposly to London to see my older bro. bt they cudnt go to London cuz the money at the bank wasnt enough for all my family!! and my dad cudnt get the visa, only my sisters got it!

at 7 Sept. my 2nd try exams started and Amy never called and never asked, i had realy bad cold and loneliness days cuz i was totally alone at home!!

i did bad in first exam but i was good in the rest..

my family left for 12 days and it was realy bad days, bt not so bad, Heroine was always with me, she was feeling how am feeling alone cuz she is goin through the same thing!! the same loneliness!! the same missing!

cuz i dont knw how to cook, how to wash my closthes, how to wash the dishes, i even dont know how to make hot tea!!

my friend sometimes used to come over here to my home and we used to study together..

he is a good cook, all he know how to cook is Noodless!!! well its better then nothing!!

i used to bring Syrdines (cooked fish) or any take away fast food!

not even Amy asked me how am i doin alone! or her family! even Amy and her family were the only family left for me in iraq in that time, bt i was totally ALONE!!

just friends of my dad and relativess were coming to me or calling me and asking me if i need something!

and ofcourse friends of me they were always with me, friends from my college, friends from the hood and my friend Heroine..

home was so quite, u can hear the air whispering!! the nights were so cold and so quite!! but the good thing is i was using my dad car in going out and doin my own things!!lol cuz dad's car was full fuel tank!!

In the first few days of the 12 days, i had a realy bad cold and then i had infection in my left ear! plus my nose was bleeding every now and then! everyday!

my nose bleed in summer time every season, bt this season the bleeding was so bad..i think cuz sometimes my blood preasure raise up!

even i bled amid of the 1st exam, cuz i was so mad and pissed cuz the test questions were so damn hard!!
i studied days and nights, hoping that i success, and hopefully i'll!

anyways, the 12 days were bad but the 2 days after were worst!!

At 12 Sept my family came back..i was kinda happy cuz i missed my mom, dad and my sisters, and i missed my mom cook! but then i hoped that they be more days absence!

and just right in the day after, my dad kicked my out of the house!!

dont worry its not cuz i brought whores to home!!, or i drank Al Kehol in the house!!, or i made a sexy party!! it wasnt cuz these things, cuz i havnt done them even..

It was cuz a silly reasons!!cuz i havnt tell him wat i did in the 12 days!!!

my dad started yelling at me and he was almost hitting me! bt my mom stopped him and she was crying..

anyways i took my car keys and my walet and i forgot to take my cellphone!! I left home and i realy felt im lost and i didnt know where to go?!!

I fired the engine and my heart and body was on fire! I headed to my friend house, then my friend came out for me! he asked me how u doin Sam? then with uncontrolled emotions I cried!!, he looked at me, and he was like, Man, r u crying?is that realy u crying??!!! watz wrong with u?... I cried like first hour born kid!!!

i cudnt talk and say anything...he asked me, Sam watz wrong? is ur family Ok?watz wrong?! you broke up with Amy?!..

i told him, ive been kicked out bro!!! my dad kicked me out!!!

he was like its alright bro, he loves u, but he is only mad lil bit, come on chill out!!

anyways i spent that day at my friend house, and in the meantime my mom was calling my friends if i stopped by them!! my older brother was looking for me too at my friends houses!
but i was in diffrent area, diffrent city! i was at my friend house who my family never heard of him!!
At night i came back to home and i took my phone and i left, cuz my dad still mad at me!

i took my phone and i kept driving my car in the highways, killing time and thinking, to be more honist? i hoped i get accedent and i die in the accedent!!

In the meantime i was talking to Heroine and she was telling me to focus on my exams and to success and she was always trying to calm me down!!, she told me wen i finish my exams i go back home and apologize to dad, bt the most important now is passing my exams..

then i went to my other friend house,and he told me to go back home and apologize to my dad!..

evantualy i ended up at my older bro home and i spent the night in his house, my bro called mom and told her that im in his house, so she stop worrying..

in the next morning my mom called me and she was crying so bad and she was telling me to come back home, i told her i cant now, but i'll sometime later today..

then i sent Amy msg and i told her that ive been kicked out!! all she said to me "its defintly ur fault Sam!!"she didnt even comfort me!!!

then one of my friend's dad called me and he was asking me if i want him to go and talk with my dad and askin my dad let me back home, cuz i have my final 2nd try exams, so i can study and pass this year! but i told him no thank u sir, i'll be alright, i'll go by myself home and things will be jst fine!!

At 4PM i went home, i sat in the car for maybe 30-45 mins thinking wat im gonna say to dad! how things will go? will he kick me out again?

i knocked the door, my lil sis opened the door and the tears were in her eyes...she was like Sam!!!

i went in and dad was taking a nap, then my mom walked to my room and she hugged me so hard and she told me ive been with ur father almost 40 years and i tolerated him for his anger!! why cant u tolerate his anger??!!
I cried on her chest and i was hearing nothing only her heart beats and her hard breaths cuz of her crying!!

i thought with myself and hoped that this heart will keep beating forever and i die before this heart!

ive never felt before this warm hug, the kindness of the mom heart!...only at that time i felt how my mom was feeling when i was gone at work, in danger areas!!, translating with USMC and US Army..
how she was afraid and scared abut me!!! I LOVE YOU MOM!

anyways after Dad woke up, i went to him, i told him dad im sorry for wat happened yeasterday and i tried to kiss his hand! but he pulled his hand and he told me to get lose!!

i walked away without sayin anything and i felt my heart was breaking harshly, then suddenly my damn nose bled!!

i went to my room, i took a deep breathe and i told Heroine wat happened and she told me that i did wat i had to do! and i realy did wat i had to do!!

at 17th Sept was my last exams and i did kinda good at it..but folks plz pray for me to success in all my tests and go to the last level, go to graduate from the college and be computers engineer!!!

i jst wanna thank all my friends who supported me in this period, tx Mad Man, Abskel, Mostafa, Heroine and everyone else!

Again Special thanx to Heroine for supporting me through my were the best perfect friend..

I love you Mom, I love you Dad, no matter what you do to me!! cuz no matter what happens you still my dad and i still your son!

Well that was my life from 10th Aug 09 -to- 17th Sept 09, is it Normal Life?! i dont think so!!!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey Sam!

So, interpreters from Iraq! that seems interesting!

I just found your blog and started reading.

There are many fathers like yours, I cant tell you to ignore all the matter and throw it away, becoz its simply your dad, but you have to get used to it, my father was like him, but my father was alocoholic, i am sure your dad is not, but it happens and they get angry for no main reason, and find one to fill all the anger inside, i think you shuld try to 4get this seems you have a good mother, good for both of you.

regards your girlfriend. my friend's way is almost like yours, he had a girlfriend, and he spent almost 7years with her, they were happy and ok, and promised each other to be together and for good. they were arranging for marriage!it happened that my friend faced hard times, and didnt find her beside him ,she was away, pretending to be busy,first, he thought it was a way to hide her feelings, but later, he found out he was wrong,he found other people by his side, and didnt marry her, it was a fate, in the last moment he found out she was not suitable for him, to love somebody doenst mean she is the suitable,but the suitable one can be loved greatly ,and remember : whom you love should always be by your side, no matter how things are going on, because it is love. love doesnt know coldness, love knows hope, being together and peace. it is like you had a war in your life, and you needed peace. at least , you had your friends by your side.

something else to remember, we all were born on a day, and we are all offered powers by God, dont lose your powers because of a girlfriend or a dad's bad temper. nothng bad conintues to happen, and your life is not devoted for somebody, it is devoted for you, only you and you can control it.

you shudnt let anyone be the leader of your life, you shud find someone to lead to lead your life, to teach you without giving you any direct lessons, this kind of persons is the best in life. now, my friend is married to a good lady and got two daughters, hes just livin a great life full of love and peace, his wife is so great, and whenever he speaks of her his eyes show sparkle as if he is talking about a gem he needed to find while he all the times thought that he got everything. everything changes, dont worry. you have many days ahead.

the word that attracted me is "heroine" & "normal life".

I hope you'll succeed in your exams and recover soon.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> J.H.

Thursday, September 17, 2009 9:08:00 PM  
Blogger Sandybelle said...

Sad things will be over soon. dont worry, take care of your health.. my wishes for your success..

Friday, September 18, 2009 1:29:00 PM  
Blogger Sam said...

firstly, i'd luv to thank u so much for stopping by and ur comment! I hope u keep visiting my blog and keep commenting cuz i realy admired ur comment!
secondly,u absolutely right in every word u've said! I need some lead bt i dont need leaders! its my life and no one else will beg for my life!
and i realy hope ur friend will live a luv peaceful life forever..
abut my luv life! im gonna put ends to everything sometime soon, staying together forever, or breaking up!!
btw wat in these words "heroine & normal life" that attracted u?

tx again from iraqi retired interp..

Friday, September 18, 2009 1:50:00 PM  
Blogger Marshmallow26 said...

Hello Sam,

Ahhh!! I am really sorry to read about what you've been through that period of time! I don't see any reason to make your dad angry. did he get mad at you just because you didn't report everything while he was gone??!

I will pray for you...

regarding Amy, it is not my bussiness but I see a dead end for this relationship, she let you down several times as if she wants you break up with you and find a new lover...

You will pass and graduate don't worry.

We are here to support you bro.


Friday, September 18, 2009 6:17:00 PM  
Blogger Dr.Violet said...

Sad things to hear !
I can say you are very sensetive person and at the same time you love your dad !
And for Ammy As you said you love her, but if she really does she would support you, not only be with you when you are during fine periods
you can test your people by these attitudes!
I won't tell you forget her coz i dont know how madly you do love her , so if i say that i would break your heart.
now lets discuss heroine's story, ya guy , she loves you yes she does and she really cares :)
And now your dad, remeber that you won't see heaven and won't live a normal life if your mom or dad mad of you ,,,
so please do your best to make him satisfies of you:)
he loves you no matter what he does!
and trust that no father on the whole earth hates his own child!
Wishing you sucseess , you can satisfis him by that:)

Friday, September 18, 2009 8:08:00 PM  
Blogger Sam said...

thanx girl, my health will be alright im not gonna die though!!

my dear sis, its realy good to hear from u, i realy hope u doin great in ur new life over there..
well marsho, there were alot of reasons, bt this reason was the main one!!
abt Amy, idk Marsho!! she says and her family say, that she will be 180 degree diffrent now to better wen we be i'll give my heart this last shot and see if we will be encaged and things will go fine or wat!!!
thank u Marsho..

Dr. Violet,
in the begining i'd like to thank u for stopping by and for ur comment..
u right abt that u can test ppl in these attitudes bt u cant judge on them 100%..thats y i'll give her and give my heart one more last chance!!
Heroine, she is realy great girl, bt im 100% sure that she doesnt luv me, plus she hates the idea of luv!! i'd agree in hating the idea of luv! bt im already in deep luv that i cant get out!!
she is just a great girl, that goin through bad times and she'll get over them cuz she is Heroine! so i hope that we stay friends forever and i'll nvr leave her only if she left me!
abt my dad! trust me im doin my best!!
tx again Dr.Violet..

tx everybody!

Friday, September 18, 2009 10:50:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sam, no need to thank me . its ok, i was happy to read your posts.

yes, i liked heroine the most, look sam, heroine loves you the most , i can guess, coz not all the girls show their real feelings, no, the rare kind say the opposite, i mean she may say she hates you while she loves you the most!!!
this kind is so special and carries deep and real feelings, this kind is the best as i see sam. yes, this kind show love in deeds, but not in words. as i told you, they say the opposite. its not hypocrisy, no, its the most amazing strength, they hide their feelings, hiding the feelings is the most difficult issue in man's life.
Heroine seems so great. you said it.
you just should try to reach her inside, try to reach heroine's inside, and describe her personality plz, i would like to know, girls of iraq are attractive, yes and seem strage.
give heroine a chance and taste her love, no emotional and sensitive girl doesnt know or like love, she just doenst want to think of it, and maybe she adores you and you dont know. try to find her inside, let you think deeply, her downs, ups and speech. how do you find her? her manners? goals?
life means everything, and heroine, i belive its a great word, HEROINE.

however, i pray for the best for you.
>>>>>>>>>>>>> J.H.

Saturday, September 19, 2009 2:44:00 AM  
Blogger Sam said...

J.H, hopefully in next few days u'll c more posts from me, bt they will be abut Interps..
well, Heroine said that she hates me sometimes! bt im pretty sure there is no luv, ive asked her once abt her knight dreams, and she said options that i dont have and am not even close!!
i bet that the man who will loves her, will be the happiest luckiest man on earth! cuz she have a pure kind heart and she raised in kind lovely family..
i wish and pray that Amy or any girl that i marry in future will be like heroine even 25%, cuz 25% of her will make me so happy!!
the problem i have! is i dont know how to get inisde Heroine,cuz like u said, she is a rare kind..
tx J.H so much for everything..

Saturday, September 19, 2009 1:12:00 PM  
Blogger Khalid from said...

Dear Sam,

I'm a bit late in here but you know the saying Al Tali Rabah Aly so I hope that by now the problem is resolved and you have the peace that you need at home.

Also, I hope that your engagement to Amy will give both of you happiness and a nice future.

Take care,

Sunday, September 20, 2009 7:46:00 AM  
Blogger Sam said...

Dear Khalid its so good to hear from u, ee ya 3eoniy enta domek rabah!! lol..
my problems with my dad kinda have been solved!! bt still problems and yelling happens every now and then, bt i realy got to used to it!!
well bro, just hope for me happiness and nice future with any girl that suitable for me and im for her in return!
thanx Dear Khalid..

can u plz define the word "Love" for me plz?
and can u plz email me? i'd luv to talk with u and knowing u more and more!
cuz u can read the ppl like an open book!!

Sunday, September 20, 2009 6:13:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sam, i'll tell you how i feel about my lover and you can get it.

I love her to death. i met many girls before her, but no one was the same as her. she is always beautiful in my eyes, she is always here , with me, calms me down, loves me and surrounds my heart with all kindness whispers. she's just like my mother. i loved before her, because i didnt meet her that time, but after i met her, i forgot all my past lifetime. i am always proud of her, wherever she goes , she attracts people by her speech and deeds, this makes me feel jealous, but gives me a heavenly peace, comfort and fondness inside. she teaches me, but she doesnt feel she does, she gives me more i give her, however, my sould is in her hand. she accepts the little and see the very much. she is faithful, admirable and strong. i am the man, but i feel she saves me. you may see her cryin as if she is a little baby. but she is my babe. this is love for me. besides, i am married to her.

Ok Sam, I'll email you asap.

Monday, September 21, 2009 6:54:00 PM  
Blogger Sam said...

ok J.H..
great, i'll be waiting ur email..

Tuesday, September 22, 2009 3:56:00 PM  
Anonymous iraqia said...

History will not forgive you, O traitor, you who betrayed the honor of your country and your sisters and your family for a bunch of money likes traitors to the dustbin of history
Even the Americans will not forgive you because it sold a home will sell strange curse you and the traitors

Friday, February 12, 2010 5:39:00 PM  
Blogger Sam said...

first of all, i'd luv to thank u "sis", (if u dont mind callin u sis!!) for visiting my blog...
secondly, thank u so much for sharing ur opinion, its so good tht i have a diffrent opinions in my blog..
i'd love to ask u question "sis", is it forbidden to eat pork in condition tht its ur only option,otherwise u die starving??!! i think in holy Quran it says its allow cuz God is merciful, dont through urself in hell..
for myself as terp, i didnt hurt anybody or staling anything,i needed money to survive and i did and then i quited working and back to college!!
ive said in my blog for 2 main reasons most of us works as interps, and they r: 1-needing money and getting away from the secartarian and the bad situation, 2-trying to get the visa to the states..
ive never heard any1 doin this job for fun!!!!
so thank u my fellow iraqi for ur understanding and ur sympathy!!
plz, plz keep visiting my blog and plz keep commenting, and plz give my blog link to ppl think like u, i want to c more hateful comments in my blog, do u knw y? cuz it makes me believe more tht i didnt do the wrong thing and i'll never regret it and always be proud for wat ive done..
thanx again "sis"..

Friday, February 12, 2010 9:21:00 PM  

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