If Your Life Similar to This Life, Please Comment!
10th Aug, is my birthday day,which is means that its special day for myself and ppl who cares and loves me!! but it wasnt realy!!
by the chance this year my bithday happened in the same week day at 10th Aug 1987 which was Monday..
my family made cake for me and it was allright!, i recieved SMS's and calls from friends and best friends of mine, the 1st congratulate i recieved was from a dear friend of me,i'll call her in my posts Heroine..
and in the same time i didnt recieve anythin from my girlfriend Amy!!!, she said that she forgot!!!cuz she is busy!!! and even after that, she didnt give me even a simple gift or apologized in nice way..
but its alright cuz I LUV HER!!
anyways after few days, she called in the middle of the night and she said Sam am sorry and lets forget the past and start a new begining!!! i was SOOOOO damn HaPpY..
i thought things will be great like it used to be between us and i'll be happy!!! but i was totaly wrong!!
we were alright for few days but the coldness started again!!
At 1st Sept. my family left to Syria and then supposly to London to see my older bro. bt they cudnt go to London cuz the money at the bank wasnt enough for all my family!! and my dad cudnt get the visa, only my sisters got it!
at 7 Sept. my 2nd try exams started and Amy never called and never asked, i had realy bad cold and loneliness days cuz i was totally alone at home!!
i did bad in first exam but i was good in the rest..
my family left for 12 days and it was realy bad days, bt not so bad, Heroine was always with me, she was feeling how am feeling alone cuz she is goin through the same thing!! the same loneliness!! the same missing!
cuz i dont knw how to cook, how to wash my closthes, how to wash the dishes, i even dont know how to make hot tea!!
my friend sometimes used to come over here to my home and we used to study together..
he is a good cook, all he know how to cook is Noodless!!! well its better then nothing!!
i used to bring Syrdines (cooked fish) or any take away fast food!
not even Amy asked me how am i doin alone! or her family! even Amy and her family were the only family left for me in iraq in that time, bt i was totally ALONE!!
just friends of my dad and relativess were coming to me or calling me and asking me if i need something!
and ofcourse friends of me they were always with me, friends from my college, friends from the hood and my friend Heroine..
home was so quite, u can hear the air whispering!! the nights were so cold and so quite!! but the good thing is i was using my dad car in going out and doin my own things!!lol cuz dad's car was full fuel tank!!
In the first few days of the 12 days, i had a realy bad cold and then i had infection in my left ear! plus my nose was bleeding every now and then! everyday!
my nose bleed in summer time every season, bt this season the bleeding was so bad..i think cuz sometimes my blood preasure raise up!
even i bled amid of the 1st exam, cuz i was so mad and pissed cuz the test questions were so damn hard!!
i studied days and nights, hoping that i success, and hopefully i'll!
anyways, the 12 days were bad but the 2 days after were worst!!
At 12 Sept my family came back..i was kinda happy cuz i missed my mom, dad and my sisters, and i missed my mom cook! but then i hoped that they be more days absence!
and just right in the day after, my dad kicked my out of the house!!
dont worry its not cuz i brought whores to home!!, or i drank Al Kehol in the house!!, or i made a sexy party!! it wasnt cuz these things, cuz i havnt done them even..
It was cuz a silly reasons!!cuz i havnt tell him wat i did in the 12 days!!!
my dad started yelling at me and he was almost hitting me! bt my mom stopped him and she was crying..
anyways i took my car keys and my walet and i forgot to take my cellphone!! I left home and i realy felt im lost and i didnt know where to go?!!
I fired the engine and my heart and body was on fire! I headed to my friend house, then my friend came out for me! he asked me how u doin Sam? then with uncontrolled emotions I cried!!, he looked at me, and he was like, Man, r u crying?is that realy u crying??!!! watz wrong with u?... I cried like first hour born kid!!!
i cudnt talk and say anything...he asked me, Sam watz wrong? is ur family Ok?watz wrong?! you broke up with Amy?!..
i told him, ive been kicked out bro!!! my dad kicked me out!!!
he was like its alright bro, he loves u, but he is only mad lil bit, come on chill out!!
anyways i spent that day at my friend house, and in the meantime my mom was calling my friends if i stopped by them!! my older brother was looking for me too at my friends houses!
but i was in diffrent area, diffrent city! i was at my friend house who my family never heard of him!!
At night i came back to home and i took my phone and i left, cuz my dad still mad at me!
i took my phone and i kept driving my car in the highways, killing time and thinking, to be more honist? i hoped i get accedent and i die in the accedent!!
In the meantime i was talking to Heroine and she was telling me to focus on my exams and to success and she was always trying to calm me down!!, she told me wen i finish my exams i go back home and apologize to dad, bt the most important now is passing my exams..
then i went to my other friend house,and he told me to go back home and apologize to my dad!..
evantualy i ended up at my older bro home and i spent the night in his house, my bro called mom and told her that im in his house, so she stop worrying..
in the next morning my mom called me and she was crying so bad and she was telling me to come back home, i told her i cant now, but i'll sometime later today..
then i sent Amy msg and i told her that ive been kicked out!! all she said to me "its defintly ur fault Sam!!"she didnt even comfort me!!!
then one of my friend's dad called me and he was asking me if i want him to go and talk with my dad and askin my dad let me back home, cuz i have my final 2nd try exams, so i can study and pass this year! but i told him no thank u sir, i'll be alright, i'll go by myself home and things will be jst fine!!
At 4PM i went home, i sat in the car for maybe 30-45 mins thinking wat im gonna say to dad! how things will go? will he kick me out again?
i knocked the door, my lil sis opened the door and the tears were in her eyes...she was like Sam!!!
i went in and dad was taking a nap, then my mom walked to my room and she hugged me so hard and she told me ive been with ur father almost 40 years and i tolerated him for his anger!! why cant u tolerate his anger??!!
I cried on her chest and i was hearing nothing only her heart beats and her hard breaths cuz of her crying!!
i thought with myself and hoped that this heart will keep beating forever and i die before this heart!
ive never felt before this warm hug, the kindness of the mom heart!...only at that time i felt how my mom was feeling when i was gone at work, in danger areas!!, translating with USMC and US Army..
how she was afraid and scared abut me!!! I LOVE YOU MOM!
anyways after Dad woke up, i went to him, i told him dad im sorry for wat happened yeasterday and i tried to kiss his hand! but he pulled his hand and he told me to get lose!!
i walked away without sayin anything and i felt my heart was breaking harshly, then suddenly my damn nose bled!!
i went to my room, i took a deep breathe and i told Heroine wat happened and she told me that i did wat i had to do! and i realy did wat i had to do!!
at 17th Sept was my last exams and i did kinda good at it..but folks plz pray for me to success in all my tests and go to the last level, go to graduate from the college and be computers engineer!!!
i jst wanna thank all my friends who supported me in this period, tx Mad Man, Abskel, Mostafa, Heroine and everyone else!
Again Special thanx to Heroine for supporting me through my exams..you were the best perfect friend..
I love you Mom, I love you Dad, no matter what you do to me!! cuz no matter what happens you still my dad and i still your son!
Well that was my life from 10th Aug 09 -to- 17th Sept 09, is it Normal Life?! i dont think so!!!