Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Fathers!!

wierd post title right?
while im writing this post right now, my dad is talking shit abut me!!!
i dont know, im realy confused, is it my dad hates me?? is it all the fathers in the world treat and talk abt thier sons bad, or its my dad only?!!
i jst wana knw why he is doin this to me?!! is it cuz i keep my mouth shut when he yells at me and beats me cuz i respect he is being my father, old and sick man..
i almost 23 years old and the other day while i was driving the car and dad was in the passenger seat he slapped me in my face and beated me on my arm with piece of metal he had on him, guess why? cuz he said to me to turn left, bt i didnt hear him, i swear i didnt hear him..
he said no, "u dont respect me, u always do wat u want to do!!!" and offcourse talkin bad,cursing and beating me..
sometimes he sends me to do something, i go there and sometimes i face problems and i solve them in my way, bt wen i get back,dad curses me cuz i didnt do it in other way!!! and all the ways leads to the same result!!
it makes me feel lil less self-confidence, it hurts my personality, cuz it makes me feel tht everytime i go and do soemthing, dad wont agree abt how i did it!!
even sometimes it makes me feel lil bit afraid while im talkin to some1,cuz i dont knw for somehow i get feeling tht this person will/wants curse me, even i havnt done anything wrong!! cuz it reminds on my dad, cuz if i do good or bad things either ways i'll be cursed!!!
sometimes wen i think abt marriage and having kids, i say no dude no kids, i dont wana be father!!
sometimes,i jst wana talk to him peacefully and calmly bt i stop, cuz i afraid tht he curses me, so i dont realy have much talk with my dad,i always talk to him with very few words and right to the point with no discusions, watever he says i do and i confirm it on him jst in case i miss something..
there have come days, tht i wake up on his yells at me, every damn morning for abt a month, bt the good think was, i was waking up beside his yells, with a beautiful SMS from heroine saying good morning my love Sam!
so her sms gives me a relief, like injured person giving him a pain killer..
for all wat happens i still love my dad so much and i realy cant bare the idea of thinkin tht he is gone, cuz i imagine myself tht i'll be realy devastated and broken wen i dont see him or knowing tht he is not around..
andi love my mom more then my dad, i realy realy love my mom, she is always defending me..
there is no word in vocabulary can describes my mom, she is more then an angel, she is an angel without wings..

well dad said his last curse on me jst right now which is im "a stupid animal!!" last curse for now,bt not last forever!!

well fellas i better run now our home quite again!! but it think my mom crying!!

c ya folks..

12 Comments:

Blogger San Antonio Cicily said...

Just because he is your father does not mean that he knows everything, fathers can be wrong too! It sounds like he has some issues, maybe his father abused him so this is the only way he knows how to communicate with you. Its sad really because he is wasting the precious time he has with you, to abuse you rather than getting to know you and enjoying his son! You also deserve respect and to have a rational father to guide you in the right way while building your self esteem and showing you how to love. Instead he has chosen to abuse you and make you feel as though you are worthless. Believe me my friend you are here for a reason and you can do great things! Hopefully you will choose to end this cycle of abuse and treat and love your children with respect. It is important for parents to stop listen and think before they react! Too often parents react without thought and this can have terrible consequences as well as damage the relationship with the child! I am sorry you have to experience this. I am also curious to know how your father treats your mom does he beat her too and mentally abuse her?

Wednesday, February 17, 2010 8:52:00 PM  
Blogger Sam said...

no i guess my grandpa didnt abuse my dad, bt i jst think cuz my dad gettin old!! idk!
no mom and dad r in very good relation thanx god, he doesnt abuse my mom..
he listens to her and mom always calms him down..
she is always my saver..

Wednesday, February 17, 2010 9:29:00 PM  
Blogger Touta said...

sam,
halaw akhi :)
hmmmmm, ma adri walla
i dont know what to tell you. Iraqi fathers seem to be the worst in the middle east.
if you're the oldest boy, then he;s probably always going to have high expectations from you, but you do need to find a way to solve his anger..too many iraqis dont realise they're suffering from trauma or depression, and people like your fathers age will never admit it..so good luck.
w lat khaaf, inta itseer a7san ab, laeen ma itseer mithil abook. :)
ta7iyatee.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010 10:51:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey Sam,
Good to hear from you again, but not good to hear this. I think i so far spoke with you abt your father.

there are two points you can deal with the matter by,
first, treat him so well. secondly, whenever he yells at you, you just shud look at him so sadll, that he can notice your sadness.

by time, everything will be better.
its so easy to find good ways to treat people we love, because we love them and love gives hope, respect, admiration and calmness. whoever the erson you love was, your father, mother, wife , children, friend, colleague..and list goes on.

keep the writing ON dude.

J.H.>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Thursday, February 18, 2010 5:14:00 PM  
Anonymous Old Friend said...

My best friend Sam
Miss you too much, since I have not seen you for long time.
My father do the same thing with me, so just deal with it.I feel what did feel and I was in that before...so please friend, be patient and I know you are!

It's always good to hear from you.
عيوني و اخوي العزيز...اولاً:كلش فرحان انه اشوفك مرة اخرى منور البلوك و الدارسة ماشية وياك تمام.
ثانياً: فرحان اكثر، لكن رغم انه احنة مرات نشتكي من اهلنا او ابونا بس بالأخير نختمهة و نكول احنة منكدر نتحمل الدنيا بلياهم و هذا ما انت اضفته بالنهاية.
صديقي،لتخلي هذا يترك انطباع عندك و انما بالعكس، ليش متكول آني سوف اتعامل مع اطفالي احسن من المعاملة الي قد كانت مو زينة من ابوية في بعض الأحيان، محخليهم يعانون و يحسون باللي حسيته.
بالنهاية....احنة لازم نلتمسلهم الأعذار يا عيوني، انت اعرف بالوضعية، و العراق و الضغط و الكهرباء و الماء و مشاكل الحياة بالعراق، و انت بعينك تتشوف...اكيد اذكر نفسي قبل ما اذكرك، لإن مريت بنفس المحنة و افتقد والدي و والدتي كثيراً كثيراً حالياً، الله يحفظ كل الأباء و الأمهات شموع منورة دوماً

خالص التحيات
صديق

Saturday, February 20, 2010 5:06:00 AM  
Blogger Marshmallow26 said...

Hello my brother,

How is it going? Hope you are doing well.
OK lemme tell you that your dad doesn't hate you he wants to discipline you and make sure that you will take the responsibility since your older brother is not around. Plus you have sisters, the way that makes your dad think twice.
He wants you to be tougher and face the life challenges. I disagree with him when it comes to cursing! There is no need to use bad words.

Take it easy, every thing comes from your dad should be like the honey on your heart! Every thing can be replaced in our life except parents. I wish that my dad was here in the States and rebukes me all the time. It has been 8 months since I've seen him, especially the last moment when he was saying good bye to me! Dad cried. Those were the most devastated and sad moments in my life. so don't panic dear.

I hope you have a wonderful day

Marsho

Saturday, February 20, 2010 5:48:00 AM  
Blogger Sam said...

Touta,
halwat akhtiy,
no sis i aint the oldest boy,i the youngest and last boy in the family!!but my older bros busy with thier one lives and wives!
i admit tht i have depresion!
still afraid abt being father one day sis!!
thank u Touta for visiting my blog and commenting, tx again sis..

J.H its sooooo good to c u and i needed u man and still need ur advices, i hope tht u email me..
i'll work on these 2 ponits and hopefully thy will work out with me!!

Old friend,
i feel happy actualy to see an old friend, bt plz i'll be happier if u kindly tell me who r u?
u totaly right bro..
تاج رأسي وعيوني ومي عيوني كل الهلا بيك,
شتسوي ياخويه غصبا علينا نتحمل اهلنه بس يعني احنه شخصيا مارتاحينه بحياتنه, وأحنه هم بعدنه شباب, هم بوكتهم جانو كل سفرات لاوربا ومدري وين!!! أحنه وين؟؟؟ بداعتي وداعتك اني حدود العراق معابره,بس للامانه شايف الحدود وجان عن طريق الشغل!!
او من ناحيه المصرف هسه؟؟شو بلكوه ملزكيه مصرف جيب وكليه ومصرف سياره ومنا ومنا..
بس شنكول؟ غير الحمدلله على كل حال, هم الحمدلله حالنه أحسن من حال غيرنه..
تحياتي الك يا أخويه العزيز..

Marsho,
my charming sis, i still alive sis!!
i guess u right sis, cuz i take almost the full responsiblity for my siss and mom, watever they need, thy call for me..
u knw wat sis? cuz his much cursing, his cursing became to my heart like honey!!
i started feeling nothing wen he curses me!!
abt u sis, im realy sis, and i hope things after the elections gets better, so u can come here to visit dad and family..
lol rebukes u??lol
take care sis and i wish u the best..

Saturday, February 20, 2010 9:23:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All I can tell ya Sam is to hang in there. I'm probably pretty close to your dads age and if I knew him I might cuss him out for treating his son that way. Some dads hate to see their kids grow up and become independant. They have trouble dealing with it and you may have to have a man to man talk with him. Hell I'm 54 and my dad's 84 but sometimes he still talks to me like I'm a kid,LOL! What are ya going to do?! Just let him know you love him and maybe he'll mellow out a bit.If he doesn't, well you did your best.
Luck to ya, Solo

Sunday, February 21, 2010 4:40:00 AM  
Blogger Sam said...

Solo,
my dad is almost 66 years old,
i'll do my best Solo, bt i jst getting tired, i jst wana get married and live my girl peacefully for good..

Monday, March 08, 2010 8:18:00 PM  
Blogger Ken said...

Sam, I remember some hard times with my father too. Now that he is gone I miss him, and dream about him all the time. Life is funny.

I wanted to reach out to you to arrange a skype call or talk with you by email so I can interview for my blog translationguy. My email is kclark@1-800-translate. The blog is http://www.1-800-translate.com/TranslationBlog/

Thanks, Ken

Friday, April 02, 2010 1:24:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If your actions are as bad as your english, then your dad is right calling you "stupid animal".

Only stupid animals insist on writing in a scum bag english they don't even know how to spell right.

Dumb Ass.

Monday, June 28, 2010 9:51:00 AM  
Blogger Sam said...

Anonymous,
I'm Proud of my dad, and no matter what he calls me, i still love him, so fuck off psycho..
let me tell you who are you,
you one of Saddam's bitches who lost her wealth after her fucker got fucked up..and now your ass riding Nissan Armada and crying, oh Iraq govt bad, oh Americans bad, oh i dont get enough penis..
and you all full with money from your stupid dad Saddam..
or you most likely one of the other arab countries that living so well and good and cryin oh Iraq, oh Plastine and your dumb president shake hands with Israel and have embassies in your soil for the zionists..lol, you guys making me laugh so loud, you people are twisted and have Schizophrenia..
I feel sorry for you though..
I pray God "Allah" will look after you..

btw can you please send me your sis if she isn't ugly like you to me so she can teach me how to write english on her pussy and breast? i'd appreciate that,but please send her shaved not nasty hairy ok, like insurgency bitch suiceder..

and thanks for stopping by and commenting in my blog..

lots of love..

Monday, June 28, 2010 2:13:00 PM  

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