Watz the meaning of "LIFE"?

I always ask myself lately, watz the meaning of life? or why i shudnt die wen there were alot of ppl around me died, and my life was on the edge? why i didnt die by then? is it cuz fate have a long-term tiring suck life? or short-term good nice life?
but i realy wish to die, but that doesnt mean im giving up everythin and sit do nothing..
am i shud keep fighting till my time comes?
the other night, i missed Amy so much, i havnt talk to her for more then 8 days(cuz of some problems in this shitty life)..so i decided to buy her flowers and go to her house..i left my home and i drove my car into Mansour city trying to get her some natuarl flowers, bt the flowers shops were closed cuz it was too damn late, then i went to Karada and Jadrieh, and i found only one flowers shop opening and i was like thanx god, finaly, then i went in the shop and i asked him for natuarl flowers and he was like "am sorry im out of natuarl flowers"..i was like Damn!!
i kept looking for another shop cuz i realy needed to do that and suprising her, i kept askin ppl in the street and they were thinking am i crazy or something, cuz i was looking for flowers in late time in Baghdad!!..
evantualy i cudnt find the flowers and i returned back to my home depressed and i cudnt have my dinner..
i jst wanna Amy know that my life is nothing jst like now without her&will she appreciate my life with her?

i dont know watz goin on with me, is it fate punishment to me? or its am out of luck?
can anyone plz tell me watz the meaning of "LIFE"?
cuz i see life in my side view is a bitch..am i right?
fellas if u had the choice between ur life and ur family wat will u chose?will u give away ur family and ur love away and enjoy ur life alone? would u?
am i shud chose my life with my family and my love and beg for the rest of my life?
alot of q's running in my head and my head is just gonna blow the hell up, and i realy wish it does..
LIFE sux gentlemen bt we shud do not give up!!
and i WONT give up and i'll keep fighting and i'll keep these q's running till god take my misery life away and i rest in peace!!

this post was unusaul post of me, bt it was jst something i had and i wanted to through it away..